A Great Thing And Other Thoughts

Amy Waxman gave mom three big bags of baby clothes to give to Tamra and she's coming to get them this weekend. :D When I called her to tell her she was really happy because apparently Nevaeh is growing out of her clothes really quickly and she doesn't have many left that fit her. I think our bodies must be in an insane frenzy when we're that young. They grow so so so fast and to think of how much activity those little bodies go through in a day is just really miraculous. I watch Azlynn grow up and I'm astonished at how much she has developed every time I see her. The first time I saw that baby she was so tiny and helpless, and now, a few months later, she's standing on her own and saying "Da Da" and she's so much bigger. Babies ARE miracles.
On the other hand, I see Tamra who had Nevaeh at nineteen, and I see how much she struggles to support her child and herself. I see how she fights with Raymond constantly but clings to him because she knows if they split he won't be in her child's life. And I see Liz who had Seany at sixteen, who seems unhappy when I see her, and has to work at Seven Eleven. I see Sean who goes to school and works long hours to support his family. These aren't people to be looked down upon because they "should have been more careful" or "oh, they asked for it." These are people to be looked up to for all they've given up and how hard they work. Does that mean I want to go out and have a baby to be like them? No, but it means I think they should be treated with respect, the same way you would treat someone who had a baby at a later age with respect.
I'm glad I can find ways to help Tamra out, because anything I can do to make her and Nevaeh's life easier, I should do.

A Never Ending Dream, A Dream of You.

So, our nine month anniversary was Sunday but we didn't celebrate until yesterday. It was nice. We both got pepperoni rolls. I got a small and it was huge. The restaurant wasn't as nice as it used to be. There was a huge obnoxious woman with two obnoxious kids there and her phone kept going off. They were awful. The music wasn't the same as it used to be. I got to dress up, though. :) I LOVE my Ray.

Today Is... Something.

So, I've been to school one day this week and was sick off my ass for the entire rest of the week. Stupid side. So, this morning I went to Dr. Petrocelli. He gave me a medicine he's given me before. Back then I stopped taking it because Dr. Shah thought it was giving me my internal pains. Boy, is she a dumbass. Anywho, Mom is picking up my prescription tomorrow. Then Julie, Jess, and Dad came by and gave me a bunch of clothes and my prom dress which came in the mail. I tried it on as soon as they left. It fits perfectly. I went to Dr. Tomlin at like 3:30, and didn't get in to see him until 4:00. He barely checked me and then told me I have colic. (I think that's what he said.) Apparently its when you don't have enough fiber to get rid of the waste in your body and your bowels grind together and get horribly painful. He said people go to the emergency room for it sometimes thinking they have an ulcer or something. I wanted to cry when he told me. I've been to so many doctors and tried so many treatments and have been going through this horrible pain for so long, and its a lack of fiber. That's all. Mom and I went to Walmart to get the fiber pills and enema he told me to get but the pills were like fifteen dollars. We got the cheap kind and when we got home I read on the bottle where it says it can swell up and choke you to death if you don't drink enough with it. It says do not take if you have trouble swallowing, which I sometimes do, so she's going to get something different tomorrow. I'm staying home tomorrow because I'm still in pain really bad. I'm thinking I might use the second enema in the pack on Saturday because I didn't seem to do a very good job this first time. Ray has to come over tomorrow because Dad demanded that I stay home so he and Julie can take me shopping. I don't wanna go. Their Yukon is big, which makes me anxious, and I'm scared to ride with them. I hope Julie drives. Anywho, Renie is getting dropped off at the vet tomorrow to get groomed and get her shots and stuff. That'll be nice. So, I was screwing around on youtube earlier and found Chris Crocker's videos. I think he's pretty funny, and also has a lot to say. I enjoyed his videos thoroughly.

Sparrow Necklace [Picture]

An Amazing Day

AHH! So, I went to dad's house earlier and apparently he ordered my prom dress already. It should come this week. I'm so freaking excited. Then, Sammie and Julie invited Ray and I to go fabric shopping so we went to JoAnn's Fabric, and Julie bought me a bunch of stuff. She bought me two yards of black and white tartan print fabric, a skirt patern, quite a few yards of light blue thermal fabric with a rainbow print, and a hoodie pattern. I'm so freaking excited to cut out all my pieces. She also bought a zipper for the skirt and thread that matched the rainbow fabric but she took those to her house because I'm going over there to sew them so she can help me. Ah, it was SO cool. Sammie had so much fun in the fabric store. She freaked the heck out over the bra patterns. :P Also, Ray went in K-Mart and got me a money order so I can order the sparrow necklace I want for prom. I'll post a picture of it soon. I miss Ray a lot, though. We cleared up some problems we were having. I love him SO much. Brandi is getting married on August 23rd, and I'm going to be her maid of honor. Apparently that means I have a lot of wedding tasks to do so I probably need to look those up or something. I'm excited. Its an awesome weekend.

Woohoo!

Dad messaged me earlier and said that the lady selling the dress will accept money orders. He's getting a money order for me and giving it to me when I see him this weekend. I'm excited. I'm going to look awesome for prom. :D

The Gorgeous Star Dress [Pictures]

PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM and Cheezburgers.

I have been so completely obsessed with icanhascheezburger.com and ihasahotdog.com these past few days. I've gone from page 1 to page 75 on both in 3 days. :D So funny. I thought this one would be perfect for my post.

So, I've been thinking lately that I hate looking for prom dresses. I really do. No matter what I buy from whatever-the-hell store I'm looking in, I'm not going to stand out at all. Then I though about my swing dress. I've had my swing dress for a year and it won't fit over my boobs. In case you're unaware of what a swing dress is, its an old style halter rockabilly dress. Mine happens to be black with white polka dots, and the cutest article of clothing I own. Anywho, I had been thinking that I could see if I could find someone to let it out around the boob area so I can get in it for prom. I mean, my uncle had his pants let out, so why can't they let out a dress? Its not my fault I have massive boobage. So, then yesterday Tara called me and told me she had been thinking the same thing about not standing out and that she had been looking at vintage dresses on ebay. Why do great minds think alike? So, here's the picture of the evening that I have in my head: Ray, Tara, Lee, and I riding in a limo to prom. Getting out and looking like a picture of perfection from the past. (Alliteration.) People keep asking us where we got such incredible dresses. We just say that we've always had them. I mean, no one needs to go buy the same dresses we have. Screw you people. A perfect, retro evening. Yes, I am silly, but I love rockabilly and pin up fashion. I've been really into it for a long time, but I never buy new clothes. When I do buy new clothes its from a cheap store around here. I'm quite limited in funds and I have no paypal account, therefore rockabilly fashion slips through my fingers as if it were water. Blah. I'm so excited. Anywho, then I got into looking through ebay for dresses in my size. I found this one really gorgeous dress that I loved and I sent it to dad begging him to buy it for me. Its from Torrid and its black with white trim and stars all over it. Its my size and I really hope he can get it. He expected mom to pay half at first but then when I told him it was only seventy-five dollars he was like "That's it?" so hopefully he won't make mom pay any. I figure if mom doesn't have to pay on the star dress then she'll have my polka dot dress let out and I can wear one to my prom and one to Dinwiddie prom. I'll try to find the dress on ebay and post pictures. I love being a show off.

My Valentine's Day Presents [Picture]

Valentine's Day 2009!

Okay, I got my bad thoughts out earlier so now its time for the good ones.
Valentine's Day was great. Ray really liked the box of candy I got him. I think he liked the two cards I wrote him, too. I hope he liked his bear. I wasn't really sure. Anywho, he got me two little stuffed dragons (a puffy pink one and a cute red one). He also got me two little boxes of sugar-free chocolate. It was sooo good. He was gonna take me to see Coraline but when we got to the mall the line was too long. There must have been about a hundred people there. So, we saw Ashlie up there and she was waiting around for Will, so we hung out with her for a while. Then she disappeared and Tara and lee showed up, but then Will showed up looking for Ashlie. It was pretty funny. Will is a pretty cool guy. Anywho, after hanging out with everyone a while we went to dinner at El Caporal and it was sooooooooooo good. Then, whe we got back to the house Seany and Azlynn were there and we got to play with them. I love how good a baby Azlynn is. She hardly ever cries. She usually just sits on your lap and looks around at people. Seany was running around like crazy and being adorable as always. We went to bed right after Lizz came to pick up the little ones. It was a great day.

My Friends Are Jerks, Except You My Dear.

Well, Friday was supposed to be a good day but it wasn't. Brandi texted me telling me that Skylar Brockwell died. I don't understand how such a thing could happen. We talked for a long while a couple years ago, and he was the first guy I liked after Reese dumped me. Reese was my first boyfriend and Skylar was the guy that made me realize that there are more fish in the sea. Always, there are more fish in the sea. I mean, Reese crushed my soul and my spirit and when I met Skylar he lifted me right back up. Maybe that means nothing to some people, but it changed me. It changed me forever. Tara and Brandi were really dismissive about it and it really pissed me off. One of them said something to the extent of 'Well we're at the age where lots of people we know are going to die and you haven't talked to him in a long time so you need to get over it.' I was so upset by that, for reasons I won't elaborate on. It was a really hypocritical thing to say, I'll put it that way. Every time I think of it my blood boils. Of course, Ray is jealous of every guy I've ever talked to so I got no comfort from him. I suppose I found comfort within myself, for the most part. I'm mostly upset when I think of how he died. His car hit a tree and caught fire and he burned to death. What a horrible way to go, and who on earth deserves that? I don't think anyone does. When I think about it I start to freak out. I don't understand how God could let something like that happen.

Thank you, Skylar, for teaching me that there are always more fish in the sea.
Rest in piece.

I think this deserves its own blog, so I'll post about the rest of the weekend later.

Sometimes I Just Wanna Throw You Down And..

ROAR! Today is pretty gosh darn good. Ray came over last night. Best sex ever. I feel like a whore talking about that though. I dunno why, I mean its not like we haven't been together long enough to have sex. I dunno. Today was the last day of selling GSA raffle tickets. It makes me sad that I have to sit in Government instead of sitting in the cafeteria with Tara and Chris. Oh well.

I Love You, Mistuh Pokemanz!

Today was the best school day I've had in a long time. Second period was easy because all we did was edit incorrect calcuator tapes. Boring. Fourth period was actually relatively good by the end of the period because right at the end I figured out what the hell I was doing. Then I went to lunch and Rin and Stephanie and I went to get the raffle stuff from some teacher or another. I dunno who she was. Then, I sold tickets all through lunch and went to Kaufman and he let me go back and sell for the rest of fifth period. I got to sit with Rin and Christopher and Tara for like 2 hours. (Chris was only there for one hour.) At one point we all freaked about because Stephanie had taken Mrs. Cosgrove's tape that she had let us borrow. Tara and Rin had to go find her and get it back. We all thought that someone had stolen it when we weren't paying attention and freaked out for like ten minutes before we realized she had taken it. So, fifth was amazing. Hopefully Kaufman will let me stay again tomorrow. Then at the end of fifth I saw Stephanie go to the guidance office and when I went to sixth period she wasn't there and I realized she's been skipping sixth to avoid me. I think its hilarious. She and her mother are the ones that have been blowing up my phone with harassing voicemails and messages for weeks now, but she's been making me out to be the bad guy to everyone. Seriously, either she should stop talking trash and leave me alone or say it to my face and admit to everyone what has really been going on. I'm really sick of this high school drama trash. I don't have a problem with anyone else in the entire school, and if she'd stop being so fake I wouldn't have a problem with her. She's not even the one harassing me because she doesn't have the balls. She's been getting her mom to do it, which is just sad in so many ways. The one time she has gathered the gonads to say something to me I shot all of her points down and she knew I was right so she hasn't said anything since. Its all just so ridiculous. Anywho, that made me laugh, and then I laughed even harder because Raymond started cracking ridiculous jokes like all period. It was great. Then the weather outside was so nice that I wanted to lay in the grass and stay forever. The bus ride home was nice. I listened to music and let the wind blow my hair around the whole time. I hope its nice out tomorrow like it was today. So, since I've gotten home nothing big has happened except Brandi texted me to tell me that Ashley and Paul moved out of her house. Apparently while she was gone with Tim last night they got their crap out and left and she came home today and they had trashed her house while she was at school. I was like wow, thats a really dumb, immature thing to do. She's happy they're gone though. Nothing else has really happened. I'm in such a good mood. :D

Headache Street.

So I went to school today like normal except it wasn't normal. Today wasn't a normal day at all. Mrs. Theune drove me frickin' looney tunes today. I was happy in first period because we had a test instead of doing busy work and talking about crap I didn't get to do. I never know what's going on in Chemistry. Ever. Then, Mrs. Theune decided after the test that since we had activity period we were going to do a lab. This ticked me off. My lab partner dropped out like a month into school and Mrs. Theune never let us trade lab partners like she said she was going to so I just don't have a partner. All of our labs are super long involving a million "stations" with stuff we have to use and I'm pretty sure I haven't finished a single lab all year. Well, French club saved my happy skippy butt. I went to French club and sat with Khalil and we complained about not being able to go see Coheed the whole time. Anywho, after that I had to go get a pass from Ms. Webb to do cafeteria duty for GSA (Gay Straight Alliance), except Ms. Webb wasn't here and hadn't told her substitute a darn thing about it. So Rin and another girl from GSA and I just sat there in the cafeteria confused. We only have until Thursday to collect the canned goods and nonperishable food items so it was annoying. So, the rest of the day was rather normal except I got to go to the Envirothon meeting after school. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be the new aquatic systems person, and I'm not sure what that leaves for Josh. I'm so excited about it, though. We're all going on Monday even though school is out because Mrs. Schmeider is visiting to help us. :D It was awesome. Anywho, so I went home and farted around for a while and the Brandi called me. Apparently Ashley and Paul had started moving in with her and Tim three days ago and they're making Brandi's life absolute hell and she was so pissed. She came over and told me all the stuff that had been happening (I'm not typing it all for now. It was just a bunch of stuff like them trashing the house and being disrespectful.) and then went back to her trailer to get her stuff because she decided to spend the night here. Of course, with us nothing ever goes as planned. She told Tim it was either her or Ashley and Paul and he let her leave so we went to her grandma's so she could talk about moving back in with her. G-Child (Brandi's grandma) thought Tim was being dumb. I thought that if Brandi moved out for a couple days he would realize how much he needs her there and he would kick Ashley and Paul out. I still think it would have worked, but instead we went back to the trailer so she could fight with Tim more and she dumped him for like 10 minutes and then they took me home. The last I heard of it was that they aren't really broken up and they're going to have a "talk" with Ashley and Paul about their expectations of them. I personally think that they should go ahead and kick them out because I really don't think its going to work. I mean, Paul is 23 and has the means to get a job but just won't out of laziness. I think that is ridiculous, and I know that its gonna bug Brandi until he either gets a good job or moves out. Ashley just goes along with what Paul says and trashes the house with her 50 million tons of crap. I just don't think Brandi will be able to take it and I doubt Ashley and Paul will get their act together. Its amazing what laziness does to people. I mean, I wouldn't be able to sit around all day every day and not go do anything productive like they do. I've had a headache for a couple of hours now, but I think it could be an ear infection in disguise. I dunno. Tired and kinda hungry.

Slight Disappointment.

Well, Trivium is playing at the Norva with Coheed and Cambria and Slipknot tonight. I don't know why I even mentioned Slipknot. They don't matter to me. I knew I wouldn't get to go, but Ray and Bubba talked about going last night and decided that they both wanted to go. Bubba said he was gonna pay for tickets with his credit card so they could go. Well, Ray got Paw to take him home kinda early because he figured they were going. See, at this point I got super excited because I love Coheed and I was gonna get Ray to get my Second Stage Turbine Blade booklet and sleeve signed. I was freaking the hell out, to be perfectly honest. Well, Ray gets home and Bubba isn't there so he texts him and he's all the way in fucking Richmond at Maymont with Akemi and her mom. It pissed me off for several reasons. Bubba could have texted Ray earlier in the day and told him they weren't going so we could have spent more time together. Bubba sounded like he really wanted to go the night before, and to be perfectly honest I think he just decided not to go because Akemi can't go and she would bitch at him about it and start a fight. I'm so sick of everything in the house revolving around her. Buddy gets kicked out because she wants her baby to have his room, and Todd can't move in because her baby will now be taking up the room that was supposed to be his. Everyone gets sick of hearing her mouth so they stay in their rooms so they won't have to hear it. She pissed off Maw really bad the other day because she was calling Sean trashy and Maw went to her room so she wouldn't yell at her. I think thats bullshit. It's Maw's house. Why should Maw have to go to her room to cool down when its her fucking house. The only reason Ray and I have come up with for Maw and Paw putting up with her is that if she moves out she'll take Bubba with her and they're scared she'll take him away from them. Its ridiculous. Honestly, I think he would stop coming to see them if they moved out just to avoid hearing her mouth. So, now hes stuck with her because he knocked her up. I don't care if its the rude term for it. I don't care if they're engaged. If you're not married and you're pregnant then you are knocked up. It ticked me off when she was saying shit about people saying she was knocked up and how they were wrong. No, they aren't. So now Bubba is stuck with her forever and I'm sure she'll crush his spirit eventually and he'll become a shell of the man he once was. The sad thing is she's doing it to the whole family right now. I'm so secretly bitter towards her for how she makes us all feel. I don't think you should have to feel that way in your own house because of someone who you only let move in as a favor to your son. I suppose the moral of the story is use birth control.

Something Worth It.

I miss my old blog. I went to GJ and I couldn't remember my old log in. Oh well. Apparently their bandwidth is full and they aren't taking mew accounts. I don't like LJ. I think it used to be awesome but now you have to pay for the good features. Apparently you have to pay for DJ. Annoying. I figure I'll be able to put more in this than I can a blog post on myspace. Too many nosey people. I'm quite sick of the drama of myspace.